Archives For Holy Spirit

When Blinders are Removed

November 29, 2020

Six years ago. It was 2014. I felt so alone. We had just moved to Nashville a year earlier. It wasn’t just the move though. It was that before we moved it was like the enemy had his bow aimed at my heart. Arrow after arrow would come screaming and piercing. First there was the friend who told me “I really don’t care about you.” Then 5 months later there was the history bomb that dropped about my existence. My friend may not have cared about me but God did! Thankfully I found out that my life was saved from abortion.

I would say that I was living my life in a little box. I could look out and watch everybody else living a joy filled life. And I could encourage them and applaud them, but I was stuck in my little box. Alone. Raising 6 kids.

So you know, I was not alone. My husband worked dutifully. But I felt alone. Never clinically diagnosed, but I would say I was depressed and filled to the brim with anxiety.

My faith was incredibly strong. Or at least it was growing. Being alone can sometimes be a good thing. I was hesitant to make friends. So I didn’t. But I had God! I could lean into Him and be comforted by the only One who can comfort.

So I was the mother of six children and felt completely deserted. At the time I 100% believed it was my fault. That my faith must be lacking. We even began seeing a christian marriage counselor. Because, remember, in my head it was my fault. My weak faith was causing our marriage struggles. My children were eleven and younger. How my attitude must have crushed them brings me weeping to my knees. Those six kids (we have eight now) are 7-18 years old now and faith filled to overflowing, but I know that my attitude must have left some sort of mark on them.

One thing that we would do was we would return to Charlotte, NC every once in a while. That would fill my heart each time. I had friends there! Especially my new pro-life faith filled friends. We would gather, have dinner, and chat forever. I’ll never forget when a friend and I sat on her back porch making fun of those other people in Nashville. These were possible friends, yet they posted far more about their businesses than they did about sidewalk ministry. And sidewalk ministry was my newest passion! Every single Saturday we would head out to Welshwood in Nashville and proclaim the gospel and pray that God would use these broken vessels to save innocent lives.

Another thing that helped me get through was I focused on paying off our debt. There’s something about having a goal that is really good at keeping me distracted. So I had a great time focusing on our debt snowball.

A year later I was on Instagram and noticed a fellow sidewalk counselor from California was posting. She was in the same business as the Nashville sidewalk counselors. I actually had the opportunity to meet her when she was driving through on an RV trip. However, I had no desire to make friends and I was weary. I skipped out. Plus it was our wedding anniversary so it was a perfect excuse to stay home.

As the days went on so did I. Always wondering why the cloud of abandonment and loneliness followed me around constantly. I’d get brief moments of happiness. I look back on my pictures and wonder how was I so happy in the photos, but inside I was sinking down, down, down.

March of 2015 that California girl was posting about how she was expecting baby number seven. At that same time I had a doctors appointment and I asked if I could still have another baby. She looked me dead in the eyes and said “with your anxiety??”

I had never said anything to her about what I was struggling with simply because she was not the kind of “doctor” that would have any knowledge on anxiety. So yeah, I left determined to prove her wrong. My new friend in California looked so sincerely happy and full of life. I wanted that. On April 1st she posted about the supplements she was taking. Without even speaking to her I followed a link and ordered. I told no one except my husband because I had spent all of this time making fun of the sellers of this product. My friend in Charlotte, I certainly was not going to tell her. So I kept it to myself. The day the test came back positive for baby number seven was the day the package of Plexus Slim arrived on my doorstep. I had no desire to lose weight, obviously. I just wanted my joy back. Maybe, just maybe it wasn’t a lack of faith. Somehow, though we were heavy into paying off debt, I found just enough to purchase this one product.

A couple weeks later I noticed I wasn’t sad or discouraged anymore. I had a smile on my face again and not just for photos. I still didn’t tell anybody, though, because what if. What if people thought I was just trying to sell them something again? So I stayed silent.

About three months later I finally posted on social media because why not. I had been a part of multiple direct sales companies and my only customers ever were my grandmother and my mother in law. So yeah, wasn’t expecting anybody to be interested. At that exact same time I am proud to say that our debt had been completely paid off! Maybe it was that happiness that caused me to share. All I know is that seven friends joined with me that week. They, too, were looking for some help. I knew this helped me, but I certainly couldn’t explain why.

One of the biggest lessons I learned was that when we struggle it could be one of three things. It’s either body, mind, or it’s spiritual. It could be multiple. For me, I thought for sure it was my spirit, had no idea it was my body. I also wasn’t expecting something so simple to affect so much. Because my body was hurting it was damaging my mind/thought life. And I have no doubt the enemy saw a terrain ripe for play.

One year after I posted on social media for the first time I realized how the Lord was using me in this business that I had spent so much time demeaning. My Plexus team now has thousands of ambassadors/customers. The Lord has blessed us with an income I never could have imagined. All because He saved a broken girl from the valley. I felt tugged, I listened to the Spirit and thought “what if?”

I also became a Natural Health Professional and I’m currently finishing up my ND program (doctor of naturopathy). I have had clients that I have assessed recently and was able to say that they 100% needed the Plexus products and I was able to guide them to which ones they needed. What a crazy unexpected blessing! He changed my life and now He is willingly using me to help change others. This is so incredibly humbling when I spent so long feeling like a nobody. I am now the mother of EIGHT beautiful blessings! I was never a nobody ❤️

With all of that being said, I want to put this offer out to you. Plexus has a superb offer right now where you can sign up for ONE PENNY. In my debt pay off days…what I would’ve given for a deal like that. I could’ve tried other products that I needed. However, this offer ends November 30th at midnight EST. I feel like the godmother warning Cinderella of the impending time. If you have any questions I would be honored to help you. If you live local to me talk to me about a health assessment. If the Lord is allowing me to serve Him in this way to help His children to tend to their temples then Lord, here I am, use me.

As always, no matter what you may be struggling with feel free to message me and let me know if you’re in need of prayer. Let’s be the body and serve one another.

Many Blessings ?

I have a habit of listening/watching sermons. Typically when I am taking a shower (phone in ziplock baggy), if I’m on the treadmill, or if I just need some mama time with my headphones on so my kids can recognize that I can’t hear them (think Susanna Wesley). This year the Lord has been leading me in an unknown direction. A direction I certainly wasn’t expecting, but lit an enormous fire in my soul.

It all began when I was listening to one of my favorite pastors, Matt Chandler. It was March 2020. It was just a random sermon I chose from his site. Quite surprisingly he was discussing a topic I had never heard a pastor speak on. I knew my Bible, don’t get me wrong, but this one part made me feel like I was making the Bible goofy. He was speaking about the gifts of the Spirit. I didn’t even know there were “gifts.” I immediately became a child! I want a gift!! If He’s giving out gifts I want one, too!! I didn’t even fully know what gifts He was handing out. I just know I had a hunger.

This sermon is what ignited a desire in me to know more. He recommended the below book by Sam Storms. So I promptly ordered it.

The very next day our pastor was preaching on the gifts of the Spirit! WHAT???? Like, are you kidding me??? Ok, flame is growing ?

Being a busy mom of many I find it difficult to find time to read so I would listen to Sam Storms’ sermons on his website. The wisdom he shared made me hungry for more!

So the Lord was teaching me through pastors. Ok, that makes sense. Then He brought this sweet beautiful young girl back into my life. She was on fire with the Holy Spirit! Her life had drastically changed and she was saved about a year ago. I eagerly watched her instagram for what sorts of biblical wisdom she was sharing. One day she was sharing about a book called “Trail of Fire.” I had no idea what it was about, but if she recommended it I wanted it!

This book really dives into revival. And yes, I want a revival! I thought I knew what that meant. But oh my, this goes even deeper. My husband and I would read a chapter to each other every night. I was so sad when it was over!

We then read a book by Sam Storms called The Beginners Guide to Spiritual Gifts. This one really got down to the nitty gritty.

As we entered into June 2020 I was seeing more people speaking about “revival.” I shared a photo on my Facebook of some books I was reading and the amount of sisters that surrounded me with love and encouragement and support and prayer was beautifully overwhelming!

I specifically remember a friend’s daughter telling me that I needed to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. I had to ask what that even meant? I had been baptized twice before. Once when I was in middle school and wanted reincarnated when I died. So yeah, not a Christian at all. And once after I became a true Christ follower. I thought I had already been baptized! Why in the world would I need to be baptized again??

Oh, my loves, in the water baptism I received a baptism of repentance, but never was I baptized with the fire of the Holy Spirit. A friend recommended this sermon by David Wilkerson (he wrote The Cross and the Switchblade).

The day I planned on watching this I had locked myself into my closet with my Bible and my highlighters. Two of my daughters had blessed me with turning my closet into a war room a couple months earlier. I had my kids watching The Chosen while I stayed in my closet focusing on Him and listening to the David Wilkerson sermon. I was pleading with the Lord because I was so hungry for Him. I wanted filled with His fire with His Spirit!! Near the end I stood with arms raised and heart open. Before I realized it there were foreign words coming out of my mouth. I just continued for as long as He allowed. I was worshipping and praising and thanking Him! To be honest, I never thought I’d be able to speak in tongues simply because I only know English and American Sign Language. And I don’t quite know how that works. I had a dear friend encourage me later because I told her I sound silly. And she was so loving and reminded my that I’m a baby and learning how to speak and to have grace for myself and to just keep practicing.

Now, what I’m doing is praying in tongues, not speaking, only praying. Just between me and the Lord and that is it. This is to edify myself not to edify the church. Plus, I personally don’t know anybody who interprets tongues. But then again, I had no idea I had so many friends who spoke in tongues and has been baptized in the Holy Spirit! I don’t even know what other gifts may be filling those I love.

Below is a dear friend of mine and I LOVE his story!!!

Right now, I have a big handful of friends I am praying over to be filled with the Spirit! If you would like prayer for this as well please message me! I am quickly filling a wall in my closet with names ?

If you, too, are eager please look into the books and sermons above. There is far too much to learn and glean from on this little blog post. Plus, pray and plead for Him to guide you! It was like He continually knocked on my heart.

There was a part of me that was simply irate that no pastor had ever shared this information before. Was lovingly reminded…

“It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.”
Proverbs 25:2

I understand that the enemy has made people feel foolish for having such gifts of tongues, or prophecy, or healings, or miracles or on and on. One thing I’ve always said is that if you’re comfortable in a church then you’re in the wrong place! If you simply read the New Testament it’s a whole lot of laying their lives down to make Him bigger. It was not comfortable. We need to repent if we have chosen self first and we need to be preparing for spiritual warfare!

One last thing: pay attention. That’s probably the best thing I can say right now. If you’re reading or listening and only half paying attention. Like when we endlessly scroll on social media. Stop it! Focus on God. If somebody is scrolling their phone while talking to you and they’re directly in front of you, you immediately know they don’t really care. Don’t do that to Him! HE LOVES YOU!!!! Sacrifice your comforts for Him. Pray for FIRE! ?

Blessings ?