Are you ready for another utterly raw post?
I’m writing this carefully and without photos because I will straight up cry. I attempted to find some photos from a few years ago and it made my heart sink.
If you guys read through my posts from our time in Tennessee you’ll see I was struggling. Pretty darn deep. I was never diagnosed with anything (remember, I don’t like being put in a box anyhow). So let me try to describe what my daily *thought life* was like.
I was being punished.
I was alone.
I wanted to be happy but I didn’t know what that was like.
I carried so much on myself.
I wanted to leave.
I felt we made a huge mistake.
Those less than 2 years were horrible. Absolutely horrible. And I’d give anything to go back. I was struggling in my health and didn’t even realize it. Don’t get me wrong, I went and saw doctor after doctor nearly every week. Maybe I wanted attention? Of course, nothing was wrong according to them.
Here’s where they were WRONG.
My gut was a cesspool. There was bacteria and all sorts of nastiness making MY BODY it’s home. I never would have believed that my stomach and bowels would have such a dramatic effect on my emotional state.
I READ my Bible! I prayed without ceasing! Wasn’t I doing enough???
MY loves, we are so beautifully and intricately made, we must take care of our temples. Our prayer life, our thought life, our spiritual life can all be effected. And the enemy knows. He knows. Why do you think the grocery store shelves are filled with sugars? Watch me, I’m not blaming the grocery stores, I’m blaming the enemy.
My thought life dramatically changed when I began Plexus. I wasn’t expecting that at all. I just wanted more energy. But when my thought life changed. When I stopped crying and locking myself in my room. My children got their mom back. My husband got his wife back. My friends got me back. I was no longer calling them to vent. God answered their prayers in a way I never would’ve believed.
The inside of me needed cleaned out. Who would have thought. I didn’t have to steal those memories from my family.
But let me tell you this, had somebody told me, “hey, this will help you.” I would have looked them in the eyes and said, “You don’t know me! You don’t know what I’m dealing with! This is a spiritual battle!” And technically, it was.
Nowadays, my daily routine involves Plexus, adaptogens, nutritionally dense food, fermented foods, and TONS OF WATER!!! Still lots of prayer. Still getting in His word. Still receiving counseling from friends.
To be honest with you, we’re going through something very similar to when we were in Tennessee. We’re looking to move back to Tennessee and I do wonder if I’m being punished for having been such a headache the last time we were there. The difference this time is that I know how to chase those thoughts away.
I know God has us where we are for a reason and I know He’s taking care of us. But, because I know of so many others who are where I was and are dealing with those same hellacious thoughts, I have to let you know what personally helped me. I don’t want to see somebody drowning and just walk away hoping they find a raft. I’m throwing the life saver out to you now. Please, get in touch with me. I’m not a certified counselor but my heart is to be there for others. My love, you’re not alone. We go through experiences to help others! Let me help you. I would love to pray for you. Message me and allow me to add you to my daily prayers. Let me help you on a new health journey that you didn’t know was possible. I’m considering attempting a meal plan, that may be a while. But be patient, it will be worth it.
We were not created to live life alone. Let’s lift each other up during these difficult times.