Archives For Parenting

How He Loves Us

November 29, 2011

It’s Sunday morning. It seems snarkiness is at its best these mornings. We fluster about and get the kids in the car. I can’t find my notepad that I use during the sermon to take notes. Frustrated. The children are put in their classes and I hear the littlest one crying. My heart sinks. We hold hands and walk to where we’ll sit. We set down our beverages and stand to sing. It’s dark and the music is loud.

And I drift into His arms. My hands surrendering to Him.

The busyness of the week seems to melt away as I’m reminded of His love for me. The words we sing comforting this tired and worn soul. And He opens my eyes. I come running to Him thirsty for His grace. My children come timidly seeking my grace. He offers agape. I offer a stipulation.

“If you do this then I will love you more.”

Those words never leave my lips, but they work themselves out through my actions. A raised eyebrow. A huff. A turned back. And through this realization my heart breaks and the tears stream down. I sing loud and with eyes closed tight. This unreal love. This amazing and undeserved love brings me to tears most every Sunday. The time when I rest from the troubles and into His arms. My day of remembrance of where I came from to where He has brought me. A love I have never known before. How can I show this love to my children? How can I be in a constant state of remembrance?

Never say “Amen”

I hear a story of a little boy asking “Why did you say ‘amen’? Shouldn’t we always be in prayer?” Oh, isn’t it the youngest that teach us? Never say ‘amen’. Always, always stay in your Father’s arms. He is forever with you. Yes, He sees us all nice and dressed up on Sunday mornings but He doesn’t take the rest of the week off. He sees us also at our worst. Our ugliest. And yes, He loves us even then. It is impossible for us to understand His grace and His love and that is why I am moved to tears. He doesn’t beat us down emotionally and make us feel guilty for our sins. But oh we do that to each other. No amount of eucharisteo can ever express my love for my Father. I thank Him by loving and showing grace when, to us, it seems unwarranted. Oh how He loves us. I thank Him with tears.

Blessings!

{Linking up with Unwrapped Tuesdays at Chatting at the Sky }

You Are Always With Me

November 15, 2011

This past weekend I went out to meet some ladies for coffee. This is a big deal considering I rarely ever leave the house. Not because I’m a hermit, just because we do life in our house. We’re in the stage of life where playdates are difficult to attend because of homeschooling or sicknesses. So getting to go out {alone} is a nice break from the everyday.

I returned a couple hours later to my family. I shut the car door, walked to the porch, opened the front door and walked in. No big hoopla awaited me. Now, whenever my husband comes home, whether it be from work, a business trip, football practice, grocery run, etc, my kids stampede each other to see who gets to hug him first! I’ve even gotten in on the fun and snuck outside to give him the ‘first’ hug. It really is fun. However, my jealousy surged when the same expression of love wasn’t shown to ‘mom’. I walked in and they were lying on the couch watching a movie. And boy-oh-boy did I let them hear it!

“Oh I see! Nobody cares if I’m home! But if DAD comes home you guys are knocking your sisters out of the way!”

{and just a side note, I really wasn’t saying it in anger, I was just pointing out the obvious. Jesting almost.}

The excuses came pouring from their lips. But I couldn’t hear them. I just nodded them away.

And then it happened.

Hours later, near dinner time, my second daughter approached me with a piece of paper. I held back tears as I read words that could only be written from her heart.

I don’t know why she wrote about my looks but I imagine at some point I must have mentioned something. I mean, as mothers, don’t we occasionally slip about how we didn’t get a shower or how we don’t look as put together as so-and-so? I do wish I knew what it was that I said so I could apologize. But nonetheless, I won’t lie, my first thought was how sweet this was. My second thought was that my loving husband had put them up to this. I was very thankful to hear that he hadn’t. My Evie had written this ‘contract’ on her own and had each of her sisters sign it.

And I became the prodigals sons brother. I wasn’t satisfied with the daily love they showed me, I wanted the grand appreciation. I wanted the running to the door when I was already being spoiled with hourly kisses and hugs. As I read the note over and over I was broken to the core.

“Gratitude begins when my sense of entitlement ends.”

I truly want to get to a place where I am content in all situations. Apparently I am not there yet. But we are all learning. We need to show just as much grace to our children that we want them to have for us. I am filled with so much eucharisteo when I consider all of His grace and the grace my children and husband show me. May I reflect all they have shown to this humble creature.

“Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.
{Luke 15:25-31 ESV}

Blessings!

Half Past Eight

October 5, 2011

~ A poem by Karen Ehman. A reminder of just how quickly the days fly by ~

Dear Lord, where has the time gone? It’s already half past eight. It seems just a minute ago the clock read one or two.

Just a while ago, my child, you were so tiny, so fragile, and there was so, so much to do: midnight feedings, endless rocking, learning to do all a new mother must do. I was scared. So were you – your tiny fingers curled around mine – but we learned together, you and I, and the clock kept ticking.

Every tick, every tock, passed slowly, I thought then. I couldn’t wait to see you talk, then to walk, but each day seemed an eternity. And then your personality began to emerge. You cooed “dada” and strung together random words like a priceless string of pearls. What queen could buy these treasures?

First steps: “Oooohh” – Boom! – “Get up and keep going, honey!” First dresses: “Mommy, I pretty!” “Yes, you are, my sweet.” Your first pony ride: I walked so close. You clung so tight. Before too long you begged me to let go. “Okay, honey, but just for a moment.”

Everyone from doting grandmas to complete strangers told me how very quickly time would fly, but for me it seemed to march slowly on.

The clock soon struck three. Peter was there. And Flopsy and Mopsy and Cottontail too. So many hours spent with them, curled up in that old oak rocker. We left only briefly, to visit with others. Do you remember? Pooh and Piglet, Papa Small, and Curious George. They were our gang each afternoon before I lay you in your bed. You were too big by then for your crib. And besides, a new baby bundle of brotherly clue had taken over that corner of your room. “Shhh…baby’s sleeping. We’ll read one more and then off to bed, my lamb. It’s nearly half past three.”

The cuckoo clock cheerfully announced the arrival of four. With it came many new adventures. Your first trip to the dentist (you were very brave), staying all night at Grandma’s (how many cookies did you eat?), and Sunday school, birthday parties, and on and on and on. No sooner had the cuckoo tucked back in and shut his wooden doors when the chimes rang out five times.

Is it five already? Where has the time gone? The chimes brought with them lace and frills and everything pink. We then spent our afternoons chatting over tea. Pooh and Piglet still visited at times, though not quite as often. For the most part they were replaced with a newfound friend. Remember? She met us in the old oak rocker faithfully each day. It was Laura. And Mary. And Carrie. And even that mean old Nellie Olson. Oh, how you loved their world! Your curls were replaced with two long braids; your pink with gingham blue (it was Laura’s favorite too). You wore that old bonnet strung down on your back and would answer only to “Half-pint.” “Pa called Laura that,” you’d insist. So we churned butter and baked biscuits and I learned to answer to “Ma!” (What happened to “Mommy”?) No time to question. Just look at the time…

Six…and then seven. Maybe they were right. Time marched more quickly. You no longer needed me for books. Now you could read by yourself! And often you did as that baby bundle of blue turned into a toddler who simply adored his Big Sis. So we journeyed to the library and got reacquainted with Peter and friends. You introduced them to your brother, who now occupied your lap. “One more time, sissy, please, just one more!” he would plead. “Okay,” you’d answer. “But just this once, brother. It’s getting very late.” Oh, darling, if you only knew.

And now here we are at half past eight. Who knows what you’ll be at the stroke of twelve? The stork came again. Again he brought blue. “Two brothers. How wonderful!” came your reply to the news. This one came to rest happily upon your left hip. And there he remains perched as you now go about your day. Mixing dough in the KitchenAid (what happened to your plastic play stove?) and answering the phone (what about the toy one with the curly cord you dragged behind you all those years? Where is it now?)

You’ve come so far, my baby. From scribbles on scrap paper mailed to loved ones far away to now answering emails (will you show me how to use it sometime?); from ribbons and smocked dresses to bobbed hair and bell bottoms. Sometimes I feel as if I’m peering into a mirror from long ago. “Your whole life is ahead of you!” strangers say to my girl. But not for me – for me time speeds by.

Help me make the most of this hour, Lord. I can never live it again. Just look at the clock on the wall. I’m afraid for this mom it is getting very late. Slow the time down, dear Lord, please.

It’s already half past eight.

Blessings!

Hidden In Your Heart

September 13, 2011

A couple weeks ago my older three began the AWANA program at a local church.

Never heard of it? I hadn’t really either. I knew it was something churches did but no clue what it really was. I was beyond thrilled to discover it’s a kind of Bible memory verse training! Even more thrilling was to find out that it’s FREE! Oh so thankful! So thankful for the willing hearts that come together {that volunteer} to help teach these young ones how to memorize. I had tried in the past to do this on my own but there’s something about coming alongside other followers to encourage each other to hide His word in our hearts!

With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!
I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O LORD;
teach me your statutes!
With my lips I declare
all the rules of your mouth.
In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.
I will delight in your statutes;
I will not forget your word.
(Psalm 119:10-16 ESV)

So my children have their papers in hand and have begun memorizing! The sound of scripture echoing throughout our house is one of the most beautiful noises I have ever heard. My oldest has taken to using Ann Voskamp’s method of memorizing. She simply takes the first letter of each word and writes it down.

{you can see here that she’s memorizing Romans 3:23. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God}

Whereas with my four year old we are singing the scriptures. It’s so beautiful. Their pure hearts have encouraged me to go through and memorize James. This first-letter-of-each-word method really is wonderful and easy. {thank you, Ann, for the suggestion}

Since it is the beginning of the year I want to encourage you to seek out a church that is offering this wonderful program. Your children will greatly benefit. And you can not have them only do this on AWANA nights. Be aware every day that we need to be reading His word and sealing it within us. If you homeschool make this part of their daily schedule. If you’re not homeschooling make it part of the afterschool homework. Or even better, memorize the scriptures as a family in the mornings and evenings. Encourage one another to stand firm in faith and in truth.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,
(Ephesians 6:13-18 ESV)

 

Blessings!

Godly Grief

September 7, 2011

This morning I woke up early to spend time with my Father. I go to our spare room and get down on my knees. I raise my eyes and see the clouds of tropical storm Lee racing by. How awesome.

“Thank you, Lord! How beautiful.”

And at that moment I was pierced to the heart.

My eyes were opened to how cruel I had been to my children. I don’t know about you but my beautiful daughters are often coming up to me and saying things like “thanks Mama! You make the best peanut butter and jelly!” or “Mom, you did such a good job with the dishes!” My children are crazy grateful. And you know what I usually do? Roll my eyes thinking they’re just trying to compete for my attention or something. How wrong, oh how wrong I’ve been! There is so much to learn from our little ones! I pray I too can have such a grateful heart. Instead of always assuming there are wrong motives behind someones affection. With a broken, repentive heart and tears washing down I began to read His word.

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.
{2 Corinthians 5:9 ESV}

Those storm clouds moved quickly. Their design and beauty delighted my heart. I showed my thanks. Do you think God rolled His eyes at me and said “darling, those are just some clouds. Get over it.” Or do you think it pleased Him to have a daughter that was thankful, even for the small things?

I continued to read on.

As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.
{2 Corinthians 7:9 ESV}

I want you to know that I am an open door. There are very few things I will keep hidden. So that’s why I’m sharing this struggle with you. I am praying that if there is someone who also needs their eyes open that your heart will also break. Our children are just that. They are children. Beautiful and innocent. Not yet corrupted by the unforgiving ways of the world. Let them stay little. Encourage their hopes and dreams. Though they may seem immature and silly to us because we’ve been so hardened by life. Protect these young ones. Let others call you over protective. You are raising up an amazing army for the Lord. Don’t let the enemy into His camp. You fight your hardest and keep these little ones pure. Listen to what they have to say and always, always, always encourage.

Blessings!