I was trying to make the effort to wake early {thanks to Planet Mommyhood} and to spend time with the Lord and to get some other things done that I normally let slide. But the night before I was plain exhausted. I had already been waking early for a couple days and it was beginning to wear on me. I had already decided I would sleep in.
The next morning God awoke me at 5:30am. I laid there debating with myself. I could fall back asleep and grab a few more zzzz’s which would probably making me a better person to deal with. Or I could haul myself out of bed and go downstairs, out to the deck and enjoy some Bible time, prayer and worship. I want you to know that I really was struggling. My flesh wanted sleep, but my soul desired to be fed. Ugh, why can’t those two ever get along.
I went down, grabbed a coffee and headed outdoors.
And God allowed me to come to him broken and weeping. Ever since the move I’ve had a horrible time adjusting to this new environment. Honestly, my heart isn’t here. I want to go back home but at the same time I want to obey Yahweh. I only mention this because I know many, many, many people who are currently or have been through the same thing. I told you I was going to be honest and raw with you guys. I have nothing to hide. I’m just as human as you are.
Then I saw it. I little message appeared on my phone.
“You’re on my mind this morning!!! How is everything?”
A sweet friend whom I hadn’t spoken with in a looooooooong time felt God prompting her to get in touch with me right at that very moment when I needed somebody. And she obeyed.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 ESV)
Had she decided not to write because it would be weird, or she had something else to do, or maybe she didn’t want to get into a darkness with me, well then, I would have suffered alone silently. And she never would have been the wiser. But she did write. She obeyed not knowing what lay ahead. And we discovered that we’re both going through the same thing at the same time. God orchestrated that so incredibly. I was filled with love and awe just knowing that I mattered to Him. That He wanted to comfort me.
I know that there are horrible things going on in this world. But that’s no reason to belittle what somebody is going through right now. We all need brothers and sisters to continue pointing us to Him. We can’t walk this narrow road alone. When He prompts you to do something listen and obey. I know there are so many times I have chosen comfort over blessing. You will regret choosing yourself but you will never regret blessing another. I remember once having a door to door sales lady come and give me a sob story about being single and raising kids and asking if I’d just buy one magazine subscription. In my heart I knew I’d never see that magazine but I also knew God would deal with her sins. I still don’t regret helping her. My heart was in the right place and I left the rest to God.
We have so many things going on in our lives, don’t we? Do this, do that, call her, mail this, etc. How in the world can we even hear the Holy Spirit?? I can tell you this, when my relationship with God is strangled by the demands of this world I don’t hear Him. I’m too focused on His creation rather than on Him. I can’t recognize His voice and if I do it’s more likely to feel like a bother because what He wants me to do doesn’t fit into what I want to do. And seriously, how smart are we?? Yeah, cause we clearly have this whole living thing down to an art, right? No, we need Him. We need Him to guide us. Other wise we’re going to stumble through dark valleys and get damaged and we’ll hurt others. We’ll wonder why life is so difficult when He is illuminating right near us and He can guide us if only we would remove our selfishness and follow.
Learn His voice. Ache for His voice.
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. (Psalm 63:1-3 ESV)
I am writing this post to remember that He cares. I don’t want to feel alone when He is right there beside me tending to His flock. If you hear Him prodding you then obey Him. My friend could have not obeyed and she wouldn’t have encouraged and prayed for me. I could have not obeyed and I could have stayed in bed satisfying my desire for sleep. This life isn’t about us. Stop and listen to what He has to say to you today.
Praying for you.
Blessings!
