I love writing. It is not something I ever thought I would succeed in. I didn’t see myself writing a book. Ever. Blogging, to me, is just journaling. I’ve been blogging since 1999 when I was a brand new Christian. So when I felt the Lord leading me to journal publicly with Eucharisteo.com I was a little hesitant. I’ve been burned before. I’ve been attacked on my blogs. From people close to me and from people I didn’t know at all. One even sent a Jehovah’s Witness Bible to my children. How did they get my address? So, to be honest with you, I live in fear. Lots of fear. I wonder if what I say matters. I fear that I’m leading people down a wrong path because I’m not as biblically sound as others. I fear being hurt by other people. I’m very sensitive. Obviously, I don’t allow comments on the majority of the posts. I wonder how many people are perturbed by my mess of writing. My english teachers would be crying. I fear that my honest writing would hurt others. I worry about not following the rules of blogging. My husband is a master at social media, it’s his job, so I know what I’m *supposed* to do. I know my posts should be so many words long and what kind of tags to use and where and how to post to social media sites. But you know what?

“I’m not going to play by their rules anymore” -Phil, Groundhog’s Day

I am a mess you guys. I am one. royal. mess. And rather than follow the blogging rules I’m throwing them all out the window. I’m not going to only write about one topic. I’m an INFJ for goodness sake. There might not be a photo in every post. Don’t expect 300-500 word posts every day. I’m no Michael Hyatt or Jeff Goins. I’m a mother of six who struggles with anxiety, depression, confidence, etc. I am so sorry if I’ve ever lead you to believe that I have it all together. Because I most certainly don’t. Sometimes I go days without brushing my hair. I rarely wear makeup. Just today I threw animals cookies out of my car {into the front lawn}. I desperately need to shower and I haven’t read an entire book in years.

Like I said. I’m a royal mess. I’m am a beautiful mess that is blessed to have a Father as a King. And He calls me His despite how much trouble I am and how much work I take. I say the wrong things at the wrong time, constantly. But now I will begin to proclaim my weaknesses rather than hide behind them in shame.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)

This is about me and God. That’s it. If I write something it’s more than likely I’m just writing about/to myself. After all nobody thinks about you more than you. I am trying to have Christ like eyes. A Christ like mind. A Christ like heart. And that’s hard. My flesh just wants comfort but my soul longs for more. So throw me in the crazy bin. To some, this won’t make any sense at all. And to others, you’ll understand every single thing I’m saying.

If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit.
2 Corinthians 5:13

So, my loves, be prepared for a crazy ride if you’re gonna follow along. Life is a wild adventure and I’m ready to stop living every day in fear.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Blessings!