If I Change

October 16, 2011

Will you still accept me if I change?

I wonder this every time I try to walk away from my sinful habits. I become convicted that how I’m living is not bringing glory to God and I decide, at that moment, to drastically change how I’m portraying Him to others. But there’s always a twist. For some reason it’s incredibly difficult for me to change how I live in front of those closest to me. I’m afraid. Afraid that they’re going to judge me. They know the terrible things I say and do. When I first became a Christian it was very difficult for me to stop doing the things I wanted to stop doing. After all, only a year previous had I declared myself an Atheist. That first year of my walk was so incredibly difficult. The devil was right there to trip me up and I was so fragile. The words that stung most were from non believers, “a real Christian wouldn’t do that” they would say. Judging. Causing me to doubt that I could walk this walk.

Do you struggle in your walk with the Lord? Are you afraid of how you’re portraying His grace and His love? Take heart dear one. This road is rough. And from my 13 years of walking with Him, I’m sorry, but it doesn’t get any easier. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a celebrity – be a Christian. You will have your own paparazzi there to magnify and announce all of your flaws and failings. But continue and strive to be like Christ. Change and run from sin. You will fall. You will fail. But that is the beauty of His amazing grace. As undeserving as we are He still loves us and He still wants us. He will walk with each one of us through our valleys.

When you are ashamed of your actions and are afraid to tell others that you’re going to be making some life changes, remember that He is not ashamed of you and what you’ve done. He can and will use your past to glorify His name. Trust Him.

So as I change. Go ahead and judge me. I know that He’s turning me into something beautiful. He can do the same for you, too. Allow the process to take time and have grace for yourself and especially for others.



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